Smart Meters and our last BIG ticket giveaway!
We have smart phones, we have smart cars, and now we have smart electricity meters…almost. All the time technology is getting better to make it easier for people to be more efficient.
A long long time ago Jim Curran had a dream. A dream that one day there would be meters that were smart. Smart enough to read your electricity usage accurately every half hour, smart enough to read it remotely and give you the data every half hour too, so his children, and his children’s children would never have to deal with an estimated bill ever again!
Here he is showing me how his dream could be coming to life in the not to distant future. Have a watch, there’s some very ‘smart’ appliances making their debut near the end too. Tell me what your appliances would say to you if they could talk, and you could win a pair of tickets to my gig in the Button Factory next Wednesday. Post it to comments at the end of this.
As it’s the last giveaway I’m feeling generous so this week I have 10 pairs of free tickets to dish out.
Good luck everyone! Winners will be announced right here on Monday morning so make sure you check back in, cause you never know it could be your lucky day.
i think we should get a get super glue and stick the umbers so thet will never move or get russian bloke 2 cycley a have him weried up 2 the metre and power it up
My electronic weighing scales would say “Ouch…get off me…my brain hurts…”
Smartmeter would say…”Does anyone ever turn a light off around here?”…..
My washing machine would say…”Do you guys ever wear a shirt more than once?
The elevater in my apartment would say “this is not a sky scrapper”
my clothes dryer would say “warm up your hands before you put them in there”
my carving knife would say “i’m a cut above the rest”
my sandwich maker would say “climb in here and i’ll heat you up”
My electric blanket would say “hop in!”
My laptop would say to me,
“You use me to much! *dramatic sigh*, this realationship is over!!”
My Microwave is a batman fan, he keeps saying ‘Pow! Whack! BING!’
The fridge said to the freezer ‘its a bit chilly’ the freezer replied ‘you think thats bad…. i’m freezing! turn me up a couple of degrees will make all the difference.’
My hairdryer would say, “you would not believe what your boyfriend dries with me”
My TV would says, “Plug me out at night” and I would say “AARGH A TALKING TV!”
How ya Des, Funny story.. the iron said ta me the other day hey mick how come that woman of yours never touchs me, i replied dont feel 2 bad she never touchs me either…..!
the kettle would sing…. oooohhhh why dont you fill me up, fill up, buttercup baby just ta pour me out, pour out……!!
all the appliances would be singing.. baby you can turn me on…
My Fridgefreezer would say…Sean, teach your children to shut me gently, then I’ll last much longer and cost you less !…..
my computer would say, you turn me on more often then you turn your husband on.Lucky Husband!!!
My computer would say..Hey,put that away or or I’ll call the police!!
I reckon my scales would say, “Doesn’t matter if you take your watch and glasses off, it’ll make feck all difference to the final weight!”
My TV would say:’Celebrity Big Brother again?!for christ sake man GET A LIFE!!!’
My C rated dryer wouldn’t say a whole lot-just shrieks of guilt-ridden angst. My fridge? “back off lady”.
My old eletricity hugger 100 watt bulb asked me “How many comedians does it take to screw in a CFL lightbulb?”
My super energy efficent CFL bulb answered “Four. One to screw it in, and the other three to stand there and say “how long’s he been up there?”
My storage heaters wouldn’t know how to talk, I reckon they would just grunt because they are so PREHISTORIC!!!
I am a bit late joining this site, was told about it through Change.ie. Anyway I was just looking at the video about leaving TV’s, sky boxes, video records etc on standby. An easy answer is to put all the appliances on to one extension lead then all you have to do is unplug the extension at night or before you leave the house and everything is unplugged. Saves running around plugging everything out.
My TV would say – how come I’m playing to an empty room here – I need an audience!
My radio would say – I have other channels, a volume control and an off switch – you might think about using me properly sometime!
My electric carving knife might say: You know that the first cut is the deepest!
My light bulbs might say: You know that CFL really means Cold Faded Lighting – stick with the Flourescents……they are a little old – and afraid of change.
My electric blanket might say: “I spin you meter round, right round like a record baby, round round round round”
My fridge might say: “The light goes off dude – stop testing it – you’re giving me the chills”
A laptop might say: Untie me – use the battery!
My video might say: You know I’d stop blinking at you saying that it’s midnight – if you decided to learn how to use me!
My iPad might say: Dream on – I don’t have an iPad – I’m not Steve Jobs!
My mobile migt say: Repeatedly saying “Can you hear me now?”, “Can you hear me now?” is wearing me down!
My electric meter might say – “Who needs a Smart Meter – ignorance is bliss, and believe me ‘Bud’, as far as electricity usage goes – you’re about as ignorant as they get!!
My television would say: Get off your ass and turn me off yourself. That damn remote only puts me on standby!
my washing machine would say”wooo man who had the vindaloo”
My kettle would say “Would you stop watching me…you know I can’t do it if you’re watching me….”
I reckon our Meter must be screaming “Keep her away from my eletrics!” My Flatmate must be the must un-domesticated female I know. Although to contribute to the running of the house she read all the manuals and decided it would be far more economical to set the heat and water to come on at specific times rather than constantly using boost. Instead I now live in a sauna and have to turn off the heat when it comes on automatically every HOUR!! We installed energy saving light bulbs in every single light we have, and as she doesn’t cook(saving the oven) HOOVER(Saving more Leckie) Do much washing/ironing I reckon her undomesticatedness is saving a mountain of electricity so help me keep it this way and keep her out of the house by bringing her to see her favourite comedian Des Bishop next week!!
My lightbulb would say to me…”I love you watts and watts but turn me off and let me sleep”!
My Tape Recorder once said to me “Is there something wrong with me?.. I’m always STARVING…”
I have an ATM in my living room who is always dispensing wisdom.
My Hoover was complaining to me only the other day that her life totally sucked.
I have this toaster who last week tapped his glass with his spoon, cleared his throat and started boring everyone about ‘good health, long life’…yawn.
My fork lift-Lift truck roared at me the other day above on Main Street: “If we drive straight into that wall we’re forked!”.
I could go on, but you get the picture…
Stop stealing food out of me you greddy pig…
Source:
my fridge does talk!!
My telly would say “Congratulations, instant karma! This is EXACTLY how much energy per hour you are saving the Universe by switching me off…..now go check how many people that will feed!”
My appliances would have a good oul natter wit me if only they could talk…plenty of heart to hearts with the fridge…”nicole, how many times do I have to tell you,a moment on the lips-a lifetime on the hips?” as I stare longingly at the Chocolate Fudge Cake sitting so elegantly inside…
And the kettle… “Ok, this heat is KILLIN’ me woman!!!! Once a day, I can brace myself for…but 6 times a day??? What did i do wrong???”
My smart meter, if I had one, would have a rather Clint Eastwood like attitude, and everytime I used the drier or left the lights on would say, “Do ya feel lucky, punk? Well, do ya?” And when trying to get me to mend my ways, he would introduce me to a timer switch by saying, “Say hello to my leetle friend!”
my dimplex heater would sing ‘come on baby light my fire’
My kettle would say “I am always up to my neck in hot water, but I still manage to sing!”
My washing machine would be telling me to stop putting my girlfriend on top of it while making love
As for my for Laptop, just as that dirty video is finished loading, the bottom of the screen would read, “battery low- 5 mins remaining… Game on son!”
my dryer would say here we go round and round getting heated and than cooling down
Am I in time? it’s 12.30am Monday morning…working late. My curling tongs would say “why bother, you’re hair is so straight, these are just going to fall out in half an hour” and my hair straightener would say “what the feck d’y need me for, your hair is already poker straight,” [thinking]..”the dumb blonde…” and they would get together in the drawer and make disparaging remarks about me and my head-o-hair behind my back while I sleep….
my over says” i heard we are in recession but i rarely get use any more-i was switched on yesterday-it was so long since my use my operator had me on auto couldn’t work out what was wrong and walked away-i’ll need some oil to free me if i’m use so rare.
My heater would say: Why don’t you just move to Sahara altogether!
My postman says “WoW that’s a very light electricity bill” ever since I bought my Energy Saving Monitor online. It’s saving me lots.
Dont forget to turn me off before going to Des’s gig!